Paradise

Please accept my apologies for not keeping up with the blog... Life has been really very busy, even for a retired old fellow like me.
I will be updating all with more frequency after the next two weeks are done.
For now, I leave you with a couple of amazing pics taken in a little corner of paradise in the Essex coast.

Plodding along

Plodding along is where I feel I am now.
Plodding, according to the dictionary, means:

adjective

1. slow-moving and unexciting.

   
   

   "a plodding comedy drama"

   • (of a person) thorough and hard-working but lacking in imagination or intelligence.

     
     

     "plodding, methodical Ralph Bellamy"

So why am I in this category?
At times I certainly feel thorough, hard-working and lacking in imagination or intelligence, therefore yes?
Especially so when the back pain from fractures in my spine are stopping me from simply straightening up, not even standing up, never mind walking...
There is also the despair and changing mood but I maintain a positive attitude and soldier on.
I am able to do more, not everything but I am less impaired though still quite disabled by it all.
Plodding is a feeling I get that is probably due to the plateau I've reached, certainly a peak of improvement has been attained through thorough and hard-work that has now reached the period of little or no change in my physical, emotional and cognitive difficulties.
Compared to a year ago, where I was in a coma and my life was at risk, there's a massive and impressive improvement. If I compare myself against what I consider normality, I would say I am 60% of the way there.
Am I being ungreatful?
I don't think so. I love life and I am propelled to getting better by the love and support from family and friends. I am so thankful to have them all. They've fought for me, with me and pushed me all this way but I am still wanting more. Not from them but certain from me.

I used to wear a suit and tie, nicely polished shoes and dressed for success. Now I wear comfortable, supportive lace-less, slip on shoes, jeans and t-shirt, jumpers etc. They are still clean and smart but it's a way from where I 'power dressed'. Then again, I am retired so no real need to wear a suit to walk Rosie to the park or plod along at home.
I am unable to wear lace ups because I struggle to get to my feet... I can't reach them. They are an appendage too far!
Hence one of my 'sillier goals' is to be able to wear one of my lovely suits, lace up shoes, tie and shirt.. Take Julie out for a posh, romantic meal.
Months ago, our son Sean asked me what I wanted to achieve in losing some of the weight I'd gained from the sedentary life I had now acquired.
Same goal but with March 23rd as a goal date because it would be our 35th wedding anniversary. Reality is we can at least get a nice meal in a restaurant but I may not look as dashing as I aimed to be... Although I would be there and this was a tremendous success and personal journey of hard graft but still only a little way over half the way there.

Many years ago, I was on a conference when I worked for Astra Pharmaceuticals that later became AstraZenecca. We were in the Algarve, Portugal.
One of the speakers was Frank Dick, the former director of coaching for UK athletics. He was a powerful and inspirational speaker. Among the many things he said, he spoke about 'Valley people' and 'Mountain People'.
Valley people, are happy with their lot and never seek to improve on what they have. Mountain people are the polar opposite, they achieve one goal, climbing that mountain, they are not happy with this and push themselves to climb the next mountain and so on. Now their is nothing wrong with either, though as a Mountain person, I cannot be satisfied with my lot  though circumstances push me to, I need to carry on climbing

Jasmine

Sweet young Jasmine. Retired racer through injury, she was sidelined and not much of a prospect. Now, we have her and love her to bits...
Full of life, mischief and love. She is enjoying life, being in her 'forever home', getting fussed over, very much spoilt.
She is quite different to our RosieG, she barks, especially at the telly if there are dog noises... She plays with toys and loves her ball. She also eats very well. We are so pleased she's eating well. She was so scrawny and in poor condition when we first homed her.
Unlike Rosie, she's not a fan of dentistix, she does like pigs ears though (yuck!)...
Same breed but such different, individual characters.
Jasmine is such a tale wagger, it's more like a 360° rotation at 100 mph... So cute but so dangerous.. She has a little of her tail missing, right at the tip! I am sure it must have been a traumatic amputation: we had the bloodbath the other night. It was like a scene from a thriller where the killer has knifed someone to death and there has been a struggle!! A 'massacre' at home... It wasn't but it could have been. There was blood everywhere.
The splatter was a fine bloody spray in our bedroom, the hall, stairs and landing, dinning room and upstairs bathroom. Who knows what she had hit but it was very evident.
To complicate things a bit more, we had a house viewing the next day (we are selling our place) so we had to plan something.... Julie had to work so she thought it best to clean when she was back home.
I thought I'd save us time by cleaning the blood where I could get to it : mirrors, furnishings, doors, walls...and dab the marks off.
Big mistake!
The dabbing on the walls was 'inefficient' so rubbing was required and it worked, on the white walls. The walls in the hall, stairs and landing are blue and the rubbing caused more of a problem, the paint rubbed off... Revealing the undercoat so desperate measures were needed, I'll use the spare paint left over from painting that area a couple of years ago, no problem.
I looked for a tester pot in the shed and found it, dabbed all over the areas affected and hey presto, done!
Wrong.....the walls were now like a blue leopard print!
I thought the paint was the right shade but was just taking a little longer to dry when in fact it was around 5 tones darker!
Panic ensued, I had a couple of hours to fix this, I am not driving so I hobbled with my walking stick, down to the DIY store, found the tester pots and then, more anxiety: 'which one is the correct shade? what if its not? I can't afford to waste any more time or energy running back and forth so I bought 4 shades of blue.
Problem solved? I wasn't going to get away with it as easily as that!
They were all a tad darker or lighter but not the same, the leopard print was now more interesting as the lighter shades differentiated the darker spots to make it, well, damned obvious something was wrong!!
Panic
I was broken at this point and Julie cane home.
You can imagine what she said and how she felt, well not as bad as I did.
We went of hunting for different shades of blue. A hue that was now no longer available!
Thankfully, Keiron and Aga came round. They said not to panic, took a couple of photos of the walls with the camera on the phone, went down to Homebase and half an hour later, a perfect match, good enough for the house viewing.

So what happened to the culprit, Jasmine, not me...?
Well she had foam pipe lagging and a dressing applied to her tail which was successful in protecting and healing her tail.
We now try not to get her too excited or at least, steer her from any obstructions when she is in full helicopter mode!!

Goodbye RosieG

We rescued Rosie six years ago. She was an ex-racer and now needed a forever home, to be loved, spoilt, pampered and cared for. We gave her this home and an extended family that welcomed her and loved her as much as we did.
She was a character and her warm loving nature meant she was a joy to see, interacting with our grandchildren.
We had so many adventures to have but alas this was not to be.

On Monday, she sustained a fracture to her leg that was spontaneous... Not a good sign and our worst fears were realised when the vet confirmed it was osteosarcoma 😔

She was a star and deserved a long and happy retirement but it was cruely cut short yesterday. She had fought her last fight and passed away peacefully being held by my wife Julie and my mother in law Claire. I could not face saying goodbye... I have my memories and the pain of seeing her take her last breath was too much for me.

It was ironic because Julie and Claire had brought her home originally... And now they had set her free 😭

As much as we loved her, we could not see her suffer.
She needed a release and she is now chasing and playing in heaven...

Goodbye my sweet Rosie... We will always love you and we are enriched by your grace, beauty and unconditional love. ♥️💕

Children's illustrated book

I am happy to day that illustrator Pete Woolgar and I are venturing into a collaboration and new ground with a children's book...
I am not going to give away everything but for a little more info... Click Here
Keep your eyes peeled...

Retired escape

So I have been retired for a month  and yet no pension, thank you NHS Pensions... pension payments are delayed because I had not been given the correct information before retiring and asked to contact NHS pensions on the date of retirement. So in fairness, not all their fault but it is still no picnic...

Everyone says, make the best of being retired, 'you have done enough for everyone' etc
Well I wasn't ready for this people, I cannot get used to it.
Retirement is an escape from the trials and tribulations of work.
The continuing stressor and noxious stimuli are lessened and now one can focus on improving quality of life and in my case, getting better. However the hidden stress remains.
I am now focused on bettering myself where possible and devoting some quality of life to me.
This includes improving diet and exercise.
We have joined the local sports centre and are going swimming a couple of times a week. By swimming I mean very little energetic swimming and light floating and paddle. My spinal fractures do not allow too much of the old racing style I had always adopted. No more 'bombing it' down the pool and it's more chilled...

I have to move more, after all  I was very active in my work and now, with the added residual effects of Encephalitis and the fractures in my spine, pain and poor mobility, I have put on a fair amount of weight.
Since Encephalitis struck, I have put on a frightening amount of weight on, four stone in 2 days short of a year.
You could say its because of my overactive.... Knife and fork. LOL
The blame could also go on the ready access to the cornucopia of food in our kitchen cupboards and my love for chocolate.
Being at home is too easy to access 'goodies' and although we have a large house, let's face it, it's not a million miles to and from the kitchen.

The ability to fill my day with physical challenges in order to rehabilitate me are limited due to the catalogue of ailments I have acquired over the last year. I need to strengthen myself up and undertake quite a bit of exercise per day, probably more than when I was working but work also meant quite a physical amount of effort and I maintained my weight.
The exercise regime is less strenuous on my calorific burning and therefore the balance is in the red. I had lost a lot of muscle mass during my ITU admission so had to eat more but now, I have topped the scales and got to the heaviest I have ever been.
As if I didn't have enough to contend with, I now have type 2 diabetes.

However, it's not all doom and gloom, having been told this, I have lost half a stone in a week... That is good going and its heading in the right direction
Maybe I can get to the weight I was at in the shoot for this cover?
 I hope so

Beauty and art

Here is my latest piece of art I have produce ...
The subject, my youngest granddaughter in her little bear dressingown
It is a monochrome piece, watercolour - blue and white only
A great subject and a beautiful model... I enjoyed painting this one 😍

Roses, lollipops and smiles

The weather has been beautiful here in the UK, yet despite spring and its natural light, it's been a difficult day.
No real reason, just hard to cope with and sorrowful.
I guess acceptance of my limitations is still a little way away.

Today has been a day of heartbreaking blackness, despite the light.
It's a stormy cloud that consumes me and is not made easier by external noxious stimuli... If I could reach a high pitch... I would scream but I can't, so I won't and I don't. But inside, I am screaming an ear piercing scream, a scream of  dare I say it, depression?

Hard to admit sometimes that I am at a low level... A reactive downer due to all that has happened in the last year. How my life is so, so different to what it was a short 12 months ago.

The physical pain, ailments and poor mobility, the despair, the plethora of medication, all the appointments (I want to cancel them all... It's a circus!!).

Why do I need to tell my story to so many people? Can't they read my notes, don't they write and talk to each other? I get so angry.... 😡

Not a good day, sorry... But it has to be said, it's not all roses, lollipops and smiles 😞

Dreams

I wish I pursued my dreams and aspirations, and not the life others expected of me

I have been to many funerals over the many years of work... I believed this to be both, part of my work in giving my last respects to my patients and also supporting their families. 

In a few services, Frank Sinatras's "My Way" is played... In it, there is a segment that goes.... 

'Regrets, I've had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption' 

So, do you they have any regrets? 

I have just been reading an interesting piece of research carried out in Australia & according to the research, Most people do.

It appears our regrets gain a lot of weight as we approach the end of our lives. 

The researcher, Bronnie Wear, carried out her study on patients in a hospice. 

'Knowing you are going to die in a few weeks' is a very difficult emotion to contend with. Bronnie noticed as her patients experienced a range of emotions that usually started with denial, and then fear, anger, remorse, more denial, and eventually, acceptance.

They discussed regrets and 5 regrets stood out.

I think this is a powerful piece that will enable us to reflect and I wish I didn't work so hard features strongly with all the male patients and some of the females.

Work can take over people's lives and we must learn to afford the luxury of spending more time with friends and especial our loved ones.

If I asked you to make a list of family functions and important milestones you have missed, there would be a fair few?

Most respondants said they would simplify their lifestyle and make better choices, they may not have needed all that money they were chasing.

Brain on Fire - World Encephalitis Day

It's world Encephalitis Day and I have just watched the movie 'Brain on Fire' .
It's on Netflix and it certainly pulls on the heartstrings.
Although we all have our own distinct story, there are many commonalities.
A year ago, if I knew what awaited me, I'd have recommended and maybe advised this should be watched by medics and all healthcare professionals to consider AiEncephalitis a posible diagnosis and arrive at more focused investigations and treatment pathways.
Who knows, I may have been better, quicker?

Watch it though...

Jessie Square Eyes

If you are into film and TV, look no further. The following will take you to my cousins Blog
It's very slick and funny, informative and punchy so please have a look.

Jess started this blog as part of her Masters Degree so support and comments would be great. 

It also happens to be Jessie's birthday today too so... Happy birthday cous xxx

Family visits

My cousin Jessie and her youngest daughter, Jenna, came to visit today. It was great to catch up over a few hours of chat, laughs and memories.

It's Jessie's birthday tomorrow and I cannot believe it's been 'that many years' since I held her in my arms as a young lad myself... She was only a couple of days old and just been sent home from the maternity unit in Gibraltar.

All these decades later, we remain tight and closer than ever in our exile in the East of England... Self exile BTW.

She is the mother to two wonderful young ladies, Anya and Jenna.
It's hard to accept the 'little ones' are in their teens now. They were my 'testing crowd' for my material. Little jokes, stories and magic tricks I'd put them through (sorry girls).
Julie and I honed our grandparenting skills on them. Although not officially our grandkids, we treated them like they were. Taking them to places, testing our pram skills and enjoying every minute with them.

They are too old to stay at our house now, like they used to.. It's not hip. We used to lie in bed and make up stories, adding bits to the story line as we went along until the story was no longer what it set out as... Like a story line chinese whispers.
However, should they need to, they are always welcome.

They are great kids and have wonderful parents in Jessie and Tony and we are always there for each other...
We may not have lots of money, fast cars, flash jewellery etc but we have pride, love and family... Xxx

Roots- Neanderthal Man

The book I orders has arrived on its release date. Excellent...

I look forward to to reading up on the findings of Clive, Geraldine and Stuart Finlayson.
I have known them all my life and Geraldines family live in the same block of flats as my family. In fact, her brother, John, was a school mate of mine so supporting the local authors, history and roots is important. The passion to learn about our forefathers is also extremely useful.

Having been born in Gibraltar, the Neanderthal story is something I have always had an interest in. Curiosity over who we are, why we are who we are and how we got here are questions we all ask... However, originating from a place where the first Neanderthal remains were found, and nothing done, it increased my interest.
Had action taken place when the bones were found, Neanderthals would be called Gibraltar man.
In many ways, I'm thankful the name was not adopted, otherwise it may have incurred a ribbing from those less fortunate 😜

This statement in itself is a corruption because this book explains how Neanderthals were thinking cave dwellers, they hunted and catalogued their lives in paintings and certainly learnt from nature. Not just 'cavemen' .

I look forward to reading and learning more.
I've tweeted Clive to make sure my copy gets autographed next time I'm in Gib.

KFC What,????

I am not a frequented of this choice restaurant  if like to consider my palette is a little more refined so why in heavens name can't I ever get a takeaway from there that provides me with what I ordered and more importantly, paid for?
We had two of our grandkids with us today and after running ourselves ragged, we opted for this cuisine because it would be appealing and quick... Also, less effort!
Wrong!
We ordered a boneless banquet with a bunch of sauces provided and it contained chips etc, we also thought that getting coleslaw and corn on the cob would add a little acceptance 
So when we got home, we had: something nearly like what we ordered... Except no tray of sauces and no coleslaw.. What we had was a bowl of 'brown'... Well, we can't call it gravy or anything else.
If I was elsewhere, I'd have thought they had given us some mud from a swamp.. But we have no swamps here. So is this coleslaw???

So, considering there aren't that many items on the menu, why and how can they get it so wrong, so often?
Anyhow, I called the manager and let rip a little...
Why?
Well because they have never got a sodding order right from the KFC in Edinburgh Road, Harlow.
He was kind to offer a full replacement of our order if I took the takeoutvwe had down to them and asked for him..
Great stra but I am not driving at the moment due to the seizures in my acute phase.. And I would certainly not be able to cycle there and back, added to which, it was cold and the kids were hungry.
I complained and registered my dissatisfaction and now, making it more of a recorded issue

Life is not all bad at times ...

A gorgeous, sunny valentines day in England, my temperature gauge said 11c. Quite remarkable, considering it was freezing cold and snowy a little while ago.

Rosie has been out in the garden laying down as I collected up dog poop (well I can't say shit as I don't know who is reading this...).

Brilliant isn't it... Rosie, Smudge and Jim have been capping away in the back garden and I have to pick it all up!
I should have joined them, pooping in the garden, then I'd feel less peeved!
It's a good thing I can't bent too well because it all looked revolting. However, it would be a wired world if dog poo was 'nice'...

Despite the plethora of crap, the atmosphere is quite relaxing and spring-like as the sun shines down and nature blossoms.
There are loads of beautiful birds  singing away, celebrating the abundance of sun. So, are we over that weather hump now?
I fear not.
I've know it to snow much later than this... Well even last year, when I woke up from my coma in late March, I could see snow out of the ward windows through my blurry eyes.

However, it's Valentines day and I wrote Julie a card and she did one for me.. Yes, after 35 years of marriage, our love is solid and strong. Its endured many troublesome times, and no doubt there will be a few more but do you know what? We are there for each other and as the years add up, I am so pleased we are growing old together and have a great family that has blossomed from our branch of the family tree.
We have not only joined families together but also cultures. We've loved together, fought together and laughed together. We have forged our strong unit and produced two more generations thus far... So pretty good work wouldn't you agree?

So I agree, this is an over commercialised day, so no flowers bought!
It is a chance though to stop, take stock and see how lucky and beautiful life can be...

Anyway, her card: was wonderfully written as always, full of sentiment, it brought tears of joy to my eyes and an ache in my heart... I am blessed!

So with this in mind I will take this opportunity, seeing as it's my blog anyway, to say 'Happy Valentines Day Julie' and I wish everyone will have the chance of long lasting love and happiness... X

Advertising on the blog...

I had an email from Google today asking about my account being inactive and having had no advertising on it for the last 5 months...
I have been recovering from Encephalitis and I am still in the process of getting back to myself.
I have ignored my blog for a while but getting back to it...
I have advertised my books a few times haven't I?
No?
Okay let me send you to my author page on Amazon... So you can check out for some valentines day specials...

Now with regards to advertising: Okay, here my response, as I sip into my aromatic cup of Nescafe Alta Rica which is a great alternative instant coffee when I haven't got the energy to grind my coffee beans. Otherwise I would grind Aldi coffee beans. They have been shown to be deliciously better than posh brands and in our household, we agree.!
I am sipping coffee, contemplating lunch.
Do we go and have a cheeky Nando's or cook at home?
I think cooking at home will be the vote even though we get an NHS discount at Nando's.. 😜

Well today, I am looking at cooking something different with some fresh chicken beasts... Anyone have a recipe for me?
I'd appreciate it.

I'm looking at cooking Italian, spaghetti with tomato salsa and cheese, garlic, onions and a little red wine to bring the flavours out. I have a bottle of Faustino to open and although a little wasteful of such ezcuisit Spanish wine, it is a beautiful end product.

Anyway, this is for dinner, in the meantime, lunch... A few walnuts and a piece of bread from my favourite master bakers..  Dorrington... Yummy.

Now let's not forget Valentines day, so for your loved one, a card from Moonpig never fails!

Anyway, for now have a good day and link up soon.

A perfect weekend so far

What makes a perfect weekend?
It's waking up to and with, a smile. That lust for life and joy at being alive and sharing the moments.
We have seen all our sons (3), all our daughters-in-law (3) and our four grandchildren
Their laughter, smiles and quick learning is amazing and we are blessed to have such a wonderful immediate family as well as our extended family
Together, they make a dynamic team and we love them to bits... Family is precious, we need to learn to love and enjoy them for what  we are together. Amazing  ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you

Tuning up

The passion for music is something that never leaves me, no matter what... Listening to the melodies, the words, guitar rifs and drum beats all mixed in, I love it.
Drums are my passion...
I was brought up in Gibraltar and home was a modest flat so not much room for a set of drums so... I eventually got a guitar.
Why guitar, I liked it too and it was easy to play, no extra storage and a good sound would be emitted  who knows, I could be the next Michael Schenker, Richie Blackmore or Clapton!!!
I have been playing guitar since I was 16, buying my first guitar with my first wages as a student nurse.
I bought a black guitar, no amp with it and no case, just a large cardboard box. A shiny new axe!
The music store did provide me with a strap and a few picks so a good start. Would you believe I cannot remember the make!

I got it home and tuned it up and... It was dreadful  I was dreadful
The sound was far from sweet, I had a lot to learn.
The next thing on my list was the amplifier. It was massive and a great sound, a Marshall amp. I'd sit on it in the living room and ay LOUD.. 🎵
Next was an effect pedal, a Wah-Fuzz... Awsome.
I also had a Red Base guitar and quite liked playing that... Easier!

I played my guitar every day for a couple of years and then I left home, Gibraltar, leaving it behind.
Over the years, we purchased a couple of second hand acoustic guitars and I'd play 'smoke on the wayer' and other 'easy' tunes for my boys when they were little.
Keiron plays guitar and he is awsome... I now rely on his little tips to help me out and take his seconds
Paul used to play keyboard although he's not played for a fair few years. Sean bought himself a drum kit in his teens and was nevour too devoted to it.. In fact, I played them more, after all , always dreamt of it.

I have picked up a few tricks over the years but never had any formal training. Time has also been pretty scarce when you have parenting duties, work etc.
Hence one of the great things about  retirement.
I love my acoustic and I play that one the most, then I have one of Keirons old guitars, a nice 'Fender Strat style'... I love it. There's a cool effect pedal and a small practice amp, can't sit on that one.. Not with my back 😜

Time is finally available for me to tune up and bang out some tunes, Supertramp, Pink Floyd, America, the Stones, MSG, Scorpions... The oldies!

Who knows, maybe the next career as a musician?
I doubt it!!!
However, I am enjoying the tunes

Words of wisdom or a new way to live by?

The Window Cleaners

The Scenario... Mid-morning, Julie has gone to work and I've had breakfast, in bed (Thanks Julie xxx) so I'm gonna have a shower, shave, get dressed and walk the dog.
I've had my meds so they will be kicking in and therefore I'll be able to walk a little at a steady pace.
I'm preparing to shave and shower, therefore--starkers when the dreaded "ding-dong" of the doorbell is sounding in the background.
Who could it be?
Is it the postman with a parcel too big to get through our letterbox?
Is it a friend, relative, jehovas witness?
The only way to find out is to open the door... Wrong, none of the above !
I could have looked out the window in the study, or from the kitchen downstairs however, my encephalitis head opts to put my pyjamas back on, dressing gown and then walk down the stairs, opening the door to two window cleaners.

They look at me, as if to say- 'lazy bastard is still in bed' and I look at them with my head saying a loud WHAT NOW... instead all I said was' alright? '

'We are here to clean the windows' 'Okay...'
Judging by their blazers with their window cleaning company logo on it, I guess they are telling me the truth. I remember now, we've only had these two a month so don't want to piss them off yet!

The older guy says, 'I can't remember if it's £20.00 or what..' what a chance.
I am now in a state of high alert, even in my dressing gown.
I reply 'Now, I know I have had a brain injury but I do remember it is not £20.00'
Tbe other one intervenes and says 'Nah mate, you are right it's less...I think it's £15.00'.
I don't believe anyone now.
I then remembered, I have no money in my wallet, how am I going to pay them?
So now Encephalitis brain kicks in..
I said 'I'll phone Julie and find out and I will go to the whole in the wall and take some money out.
Got dressed quickly with my pj's under a "temporary set of clothes"...' What is a temporary set of clothes? ' I hear you ask.
Well they certainly aren't ones that will change into something wondrous or supernatural, they won't disappear or lose their integrity in the 15 minutes it would take me to get to the fscility.
They are.. The clothes I wore yesterday, the outer clothes only. No undies... They cannot be worn two days in a row (if anyone disagrees with this statement, my advice: keep it to yourself and don't share it, the habit, not the undies, but them too..!).

RosieG, in her coat, was ready for walkies too so I took her along.

I called Julie, at work just confirm the price agreed and it's £15.00..
Julie asked 'Are you alright?' to which I started to reassure her I was okay when Rosie decided to tske a dump on the field adjacent to the path!
Have you ever seen a greyhound having its bowels opened?
It is extremely obvious and graphic!!!
I let her finish her business as I'd tucked my phone in my coat and grabbed a poo-bag to pick the doo-doos up...
Picking up shit is not easy whilst you hold the dogs lead and walking stick, bend from the legs, because of the fractures in my thoraco-lumber spine and approach the steaming, smelly mound with a thin plastic bag that thankfully you kicked your fingers, in order to open the damned bag in the first place, now in a 'crane like' stance, about to collect the offending stool... Nice, wsrm, formed and a good colour (Type 3 on the Bristol stool chart, once a nurse, always a nurse...)
Poo and intact bag deposited in the poo bin near us, I hobbled home, in pain but achieving my goal.

Anyway, I did it, I got back before they had finished..
'Thanks mate' was the reply from the old one who grabbed the & 15.00 off me (not £20.00 haha!)

When Julie got home, we discussed this, she said "you look shattered'
'I am'
She then said, 'next time, just tell them to come back latet and collect the money...'

Easy when you have a good head!!!
I will get there...

Balance, karma maybe?

Sunday is a day to recover and recharge your batteries and Monday is hectic for those in employment ... So retirees should get some rest? Not in this household!

We are up early, no lay in , up with the lark, and looking after 2 of our gang. Daisy is with us all day and Heath comes just after 12,for lunch and joins his sister in some lunch, games and.... Sweeties with the grandparents!

Today, we had a visit from a friend and work colleague, Jane.
She arrived laden with sweets, flowers and a big hug for us all.
We hadn't seen each other since February last year so there was a lot of catching up to do.
Julie and I enjoyed the visit, it was great to have a couple of hours of socialising, catching up with gossip, laughing and showing off the grandkids, with plenty of tea and coffee flowing.

Jane had to go and collect her daughters and as they live in a neighbouring town, left early enough to avoid the traffic.

The summary of this is that although I have retired, I keep in touch with all my friends. Its an aspect of work I miss but I enjoy catching up with colleagues whilst still carrying out grandparents duties.
Life balance?

By 7pm... We are asleep on the sofa, energy zapped out by our little munchkins

Master of Comedy

Omid Djalili Brentwood

It's been a long day, but boy has it been a great day.
I went on a brisk, chilly walk along the river this morning with Tony, my brother in law. We chatted, photographed nature and then retired to the pub... For coffee.
The frozen river was 'cool'...
For those of you who know me, you will know I love a good laugh.
I am a big comedy fan, laughter is the best medicine... Well, within reason.
One of my comedy heroes is Omid Djalili. I have seen him on stage twice and we both follow each other on twitter.
Well he was performing in Brentwood today, not far from us so... After a little twitter chat, Omid arranged for Julie and I to go and see him in action.
Boothby Graffoe was the 'warm up act' and he was excellent, funny, musical and his tale of the cocaine fueled dog is a must.
Then the boss was on, Omid was as good as we all expect and more. His wit, intelligence and warmth was projected to an otherwise cold Brentwood centre. Cold in temperature and abcent of warmth and comfort in itself, so it was not the best of venues for comedy.
The odd belly dance was a hit as well as the 'Brentwood /Brentford' confused states.
As arranged, we met Omid after the show.
We have met before a few years ago in Harlow but we had a little more time to exchange a few more words.
For such a hard working and popular actor, comedian, thespian, singer etc.. He is very down to earth and likeable.
I like the man even more now, his observations and politics, sense of humour and caring are getting better with age and from me, Omid gets a 10:10.
Its a job and a half to woo a crowd on a cold winters night and he did it and won... Great job sir.
As in a the start of an international football match, we exchanged gifts.. A couple of my books, autographed for Omid and a photo opportunity for us.
Thanks for the show and chat. Its been hard for me over the last year, facing my own mortality, the pain, the changes in my life... having to retire, I could but won't go on.
Thanks for giving Julie and I a great escape for a few hours... RESPECT!

Crashed out... In pain

It's been a busy few days and the unclement weather has kept the forays to the outside world to a minimum...
It's harder to walk in the cold... A bold statement but true!
Pain in the back whilst walking makes me hunch a way and the add the cold, it's a bit different.

Talking of pain, I am trying to lay off the codeine and paracetamol based products.
No, my bowels are fine thank you very much 💩
I'm a little hacked off because my Liver Function Tests (LFT's) are higher... And I am a very occasional drinker so why!!!!
I know why, in the past 11 months, I have consumed a massive quantity of codydramol... 2 tablets and at least 2 doses per day in 330days or so = 1320 tablets... At least.
That is a shit load of codeine and paracetamol... Is it any wonder my liver is affected!

Chess anyone?

As part of my healing, I am trying to get my critical and strategic focus back.
Test the brain and send the synapses into overdrive where possible.

Playing board games helps.
Scrabble is my addiction. I love words and the challenge "scrabbling" gives me. I have a pretty decent personal score to boot.

I have recently been reintroduced to chess by my friend Alan and have a lot to re-learn.
I've not played chess in man years and playing again is exhilarating.

We met up today at my house and I had the chess board set-up in the anticipation of playing a few games over a few hours and lunch in between...
The results:
We chatted for a while and only managed one game and... I lost!
Good to test the brain though ✌️

Played a few people and doing okay although in fairness, played my mate Alan recently and I was losing so I 'accidentally' knocked the pieces and we had to restart... Lost that one anyway 😳

Inhalers and inhaled therapy

I have worked in the speciality of respiratory disease management for decades.

I have been responsible for designing services to aid the delivery of care for patients with asthma, COPD and other diseases.

I am also asthmatic and have been for decades.
I have not needed regular treatment with inhalers until last year. Now, I have to take 2 puffs of symbicort 200/ 6 twice daily.
It takes a few seconds a day, yet I have a problem remaining compliant..!
I know right?
Tablets wise, I use a dosset box and I can see when I need to take my meds, when I have forgotten them, in time to correct this.
I am extremely compliant with my tablets.
So why such a difference in adherence?

One of the key areas we have always tried to focus on is concordance and compliance with inhaled therapy.
Unlike pills, we cannot put inhalers into dosset boxes so concordance can sometimes be very poor.
Inhalation therapy is recommended at all stages of the disease and allows the delivery of active molecules directly to the target site of action, whilst minimising adverse side-effects. Inhalers therefore play a crucial role in the effective management of patients with COPD and asthma. Many patients choose not to take their medication because they perceive it to be unnecessary or because they are concerned about potential adverse effects.

Rate of adherence is usually reported as the percentage of the prescribed doses of the medication actually taken by the patient over a specified period. The extent of non-adherence varies widely, and in different studies it has been recorded as low as 10% and as high as 92%.
Extensive review of the literature reveal that in developed countries adherence to therapies averages 50%.
Approximately half of this non-adherence is intentional, whilst the remainder occurs because patients are either unaware that they are not taking medications as prescribed or the regimen is just too complex. Adherence rates are typically higher among patients with acute conditions, as compared against those with chronic conditions.
Studies reveal that patients with chronic illnesses take only ~50% of medications prescribed for those conditions.

So can we make this easier?

Yes and this is something I am working on to develop a new strategy around this through an innovative approach that I will disclose once it is complete... So watch this space.

Useful link

Concordance

Catch up at High tea.

It was such a brilliant catch up with good friends / colleagues yesterday.

Catriona was chauffer for me, picking me up from home and then Penny and driving us to a posh tearoom in a boutique hotel near Ongar... Due to PMI (Poor Memory Issues) I cannot tell you the name of the place but it was extremely chilled and very posh!
We were shown into a large conservatory, sitting at a table which was set with emaculate precision.
The cutlery sat welcoming and clean, awaiting the food to be served.
I noticed and older colleague of ours sat to my left and I turned, smiled and briefly chatted with her, Janet.
Janet was a health visitor who'd worked in the same offices as we had about 5 years + ago. She'd retired and asked "have you retired now?"... I wonder if the walking stick and my gait prompted her question or do I look really old anyway?
No need to answer this one, I know!!!

After a catch up, we had our tea served... Tea with scones, cakes and sandwiches (with the crust cut off), served in a timely manner and with a smile.

I hadn't seen Julia, Penny or Catriona for many months so there was a lot to catch up on.
We have worked together for many years and have been good friends, all of us are specialist nurses in different disciplines but all forward thinking.
We have always done what is best for our patients and colleagues and I was very proud to be their manager for a few years too.

Two main reasons for our meeting: I had retired and now Penny was retiring.
It was like we'd only seen each other the day before... Lots of chat, laughs and memories shared.

Tea was great, lots of choices of tea, I went for the ceylon (Sri Lanka) tea... Strong and full bodied. All poured through a tea strainer as the tea was loose leaf tea.. Catriona!
She kept on forgetting about this, in all fairness, she is the younger one out of us all and usually never drinks hot beverages of any sort!

The sad fact about our meeting is that two of us, by today, will have retired.

Penny has always been the consummate professional. Caring, unpreterbed and calming, in all the years I've known her, I'd say I've only seen her angry once and that was only angry with a tiny 'a'...
She has done so much for her service, single handedly being a force for effective cardiac rehab in West Essex. I have a lot of praise and respect for Penny. She will be missed but she has given many, many years service to others and now it's time for herself, family and especially her grandson. Good luck Penny 😉👍.

We chatted for ages, sharing photos of our children and grandchildren with anecdotes to boot... Sharing tales of our ailments and how different the patient experience is.
It is such a shame that we shared poor parent experience when receiving care!

Time passing quickly and soon the previously bright conservatory becoming darker as dusk set in. It was a good 3 hours gone quickly though there was nearly a year to catch up on.

It was time to say goodbye and although our daily interactions will never be the same, our respect and  can I say love, for our colleagues and friends, will always be there.

There were a few cakes left over so I was obliged to take them home for our grandchildren to polish off... Boy did they enjoy them! Especially as Daisy wasn't feeling well so the cakes were very much a Medicinal must.!

Till the next time
Cheers....

Saturday nights... Thoughts and reflections

Yes, they were dedicated to going clubbing, dancing, drinking etc... That's a long time ago, even before encephalitis!!

Now, Saturday, day time, I have been doing some exercise, chilling, eating and spending time with Julie.

The winter has not been too harsh and we have been out in Harlow.
Coffee, snacks and a bit of shopping, now, evening, we are both at home, resting, drilnibk tea and spare nding some time with Rosie. Rosie has been feeling a little unwell today so we have been fussing over her and... She loves it!
She's now lying by my feet, fast asleep and relieving old races as she jerks and woods in her sleep.

All very un-rock 'n roll... But I love spending time at home. Tea, coffee, a few snacks and all good.

Excitement, I get excitement... I shaved off my moustache and beard today... A change of image, that is pretty cool isn't it?

It was a tiring day yesterday. I had an appointment so up early to get to Cambridge, Addenbrooks hospital for 10.00
We left home before 08.00 to get there in time because the M11 was snarled up due to an accident so.... The whole of the South-East were on the rat runs, including us. Like ants, following a line, the traffic swirls blocked all the roads... Not moving much as the time ticked!
Everyone was cross, focused on getting to their destinations, very little humanity or kindness... Added to this it was cold and grey.
Do you get the picture?

As Julie concentrated on the traffic, we saw a lady running, on foot, on the road side, heading towards Bishop Stortford, where we were heading too.. She was about our age and without meaning any insult to her, did not look as she was running for pleasure... And everyone was ignoring her.
Well not everyone, Julie wound her window down and called out "are you okay?"
The lady just said "thank you" and run across the lane of fast moving traffic to our side which was moving at maybe a few inches an hour. She just smiled, puffed out and said thanks again as she got into our car... Very trusting, we could have been dodgy? Thankfully we are fairly normal and more importantly "safe".
"so who are you guys " she enquired, to which we replied with our names and she said her name was "Sid". When she was running, she looked so anxious & out of place running on the road (no footpath)...... She was happy to join us & we had a great chat in the car & dropped her off at the hockerill lights in Bishop Stortford ... Her bus had failed to turn up, prompting her to take the plunge by running the few ( three hard) miles from Little Hallingbury!... She was anxious to open her café, she didn't want to let people down.... She told us about how she's raising funds to organise a trip for adults with disabilities, she's also running a social club at the cafe & does home cooking...... It's the 'Wiggly Willow Café'.
What a great person and such a chance encounter... Such dedication. Hats off to you Sid, others would have not bothered 
Here's the website
https://www.wigglywillow.org/

It turns out Julie's sister knows her... What a small world!

This is one of the many reasons I married my lovely Julie, she is a caring and helpful lady. A true good Samaritan. ❤️❤️❤️

Anyway, l was reading my last blog entry and my old childhood friend, Richard, replied... It's great to hear from you amigo ✌️
We keep in touch on Instagram and its really good to hear from you.
I am sure our paths will cross again.

In the meantime life goes on, thankfully.

Until the next instalment
Take care of each other and live life's every moment, be present...

First Post of 2019

Well I have to start off by saying 'happy new year' and wishing you all the best for 2019.
I hope this year is kind to us all. Last year was, how can I put it, shit!

Yes indeed, apart from the birth of our 4th grandchild, I had little else to celebrate last year.

2018 saw me admitted into hospital in a coma, caused by encephalitis and I was happy to come out from ITU alive.
All I remember was going to bed on the 1st March and waking up a couple of weeks later. I also had pneumonia, hypertension and other sinusitis / asthma...

I had no memory of what happened... I cannot remember fitting, stopping breathing (arresting) or how I sustained the fractures on my spine...
Now, I have been retired from work,  early retirement.
Up to now, retirement is not much different to being off sick!!
I am in loads of pain, my mobility is restricted and I don't get to see too many people outside of the family.
I pass the time cleaning, cooking, painting and undertaking my physiotherapy to strengthen me up.
It's difficult because I lost so much muscle strength and although I have recovered lots of it, I still need to strengthen up!
Added to this, I have put on some weight too.
I now take pain killers, inhalers,

So what will my blog do that is different?
I will still be unashamedly promoting my books and art but... I want to keep track of my progress but also give you a synopsis of what has happened to date. The serious points and the funny ones, if there are any.
After all, humour can cure lots... 😜

I also want to educate and support anyone with sharing experiences.
This will include retirement, hobbies, encephalitis, relationships with one's self and others and life in general...

I also feel that it will be very powerful to write about being a patient after decades of being on the other side... Believe me, it is very different and very hard!

If you are interested, sign up for instalments, interactions and updates...
I hope to keep you posted

Ram