The Scenario... Mid-morning, Julie has gone to work and I've had breakfast, in bed (Thanks Julie xxx) so I'm gonna have a shower, shave, get dressed and walk the dog.
I've had my meds so they will be kicking in and therefore I'll be able to walk a little at a steady pace.
I'm preparing to shave and shower, therefore--starkers when the dreaded "ding-dong" of the doorbell is sounding in the background.
Who could it be?
Is it the postman with a parcel too big to get through our letterbox?
Is it a friend, relative, jehovas witness?
The only way to find out is to open the door... Wrong, none of the above !
I could have looked out the window in the study, or from the kitchen downstairs however, my encephalitis head opts to put my pyjamas back on, dressing gown and then walk down the stairs, opening the door to two window cleaners.
They look at me, as if to say- 'lazy bastard is still in bed' and I look at them with my head saying a loud WHAT NOW... instead all I said was' alright? '
'We are here to clean the windows' 'Okay...'
Judging by their blazers with their window cleaning company logo on it, I guess they are telling me the truth. I remember now, we've only had these two a month so don't want to piss them off yet!
The older guy says, 'I can't remember if it's £20.00 or what..' what a chance.
I am now in a state of high alert, even in my dressing gown.
I reply 'Now, I know I have had a brain injury but I do remember it is not £20.00'
Tbe other one intervenes and says 'Nah mate, you are right it's less...I think it's £15.00'.
I don't believe anyone now.
I then remembered, I have no money in my wallet, how am I going to pay them?
So now Encephalitis brain kicks in..
I said 'I'll phone Julie and find out and I will go to the whole in the wall and take some money out.
Got dressed quickly with my pj's under a "temporary set of clothes"...' What is a temporary set of clothes? ' I hear you ask.
Well they certainly aren't ones that will change into something wondrous or supernatural, they won't disappear or lose their integrity in the 15 minutes it would take me to get to the fscility.
They are.. The clothes I wore yesterday, the outer clothes only. No undies... They cannot be worn two days in a row (if anyone disagrees with this statement, my advice: keep it to yourself and don't share it, the habit, not the undies, but them too..!).
RosieG, in her coat, was ready for walkies too so I took her along.
I called Julie, at work just confirm the price agreed and it's £15.00..
Julie asked 'Are you alright?' to which I started to reassure her I was okay when Rosie decided to tske a dump on the field adjacent to the path!
Have you ever seen a greyhound having its bowels opened?
It is extremely obvious and graphic!!!
I let her finish her business as I'd tucked my phone in my coat and grabbed a poo-bag to pick the doo-doos up...
Picking up shit is not easy whilst you hold the dogs lead and walking stick, bend from the legs, because of the fractures in my thoraco-lumber spine and approach the steaming, smelly mound with a thin plastic bag that thankfully you kicked your fingers, in order to open the damned bag in the first place, now in a 'crane like' stance, about to collect the offending stool... Nice, wsrm, formed and a good colour (Type 3 on the
Bristol stool chart, once a nurse, always a nurse...)
Poo and intact bag deposited in the poo bin near us, I hobbled home, in pain but achieving my goal.
Anyway, I did it, I got back before they had finished..
'Thanks mate' was the reply from the old one who grabbed the & 15.00 off me (not £20.00 haha!)
When Julie got home, we discussed this, she said "you look shattered'
'I am'
She then said, 'next time, just tell them to come back latet and collect the money...'
Easy when you have a good head!!!
I will get there...
