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Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Hilarious book

Inside the novel...

Hilarity in the Hills,  a sweet story of family fun, lampooning in France and catastrophic vacationing.

Simon held on to his dad’s hand as they crossed the road and headed for the hustle and bustle of the French market. They looked for anything resembling a food establishment and they were soon standing in front of a stall piled high with lovely cold meats. Salamis of all kinds of sizes and colours. Pierce made some quick calculations in his head: ‘They would be easy to eat without any plates or cutlery’ so Pierce addressed the stall owner in his best French, pausing to be able to ensure he was correctly addressing the gentleman in the correct tense. ‘Quelle est cette saucisse s'il vous plaît ‘ asked pierce whilst pointing at a lovely sausage on the counter. ‘Cheval’ replied the stall owner with a smile on his face. Well he had understood his question but the answer was not what he expected, although the salami looked very appetising, it was Horse meat and no way was he eating Neddy. ‘Quelle est cette saucisse s'il vous plaît’ he asked again but pointing to another salami. The answer was the same but without the smile this time… ‘Cheval’. Simon now started to tug on his confused dads arm, as he whispered ’Dad, dad’ but to no avail. He continued to attempt to gain his father’s full attention however Pierce was concentrating. Pierce looked at him, firmly stating ‘Please Simon, can’t you see I am trying to buy us lunch, let me focus on speaking to this man in French. It’s not easy you know’. ‘But dad, look up at the sign…’ Pierce capitulated to his son’s request and looked up at the sign on the stall. The bright, clearly written and colourful sign firmly stated “Bouocherie de cheval” and to make matters clearer, there was a picture of a horse with lines and writing on its body which indicated what the different cuts were called on the equine meat platter. ‘Pardon monsieur, jei sui Désolé’ said the embarrassed father of three and grabbed his sons hand and walked to another stall. ‘Ah, cheese, no horses in there I hope unless they milk horses here?’ he chuckled to his young apprentice and proceeded to purchase some fromage instead.